Part - 2
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The Unsung Status Update
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The Unsung Status Update
The Post of
ShareMaster sent my brain into an excited state (Disclaimer -
Though I might not have understood the meaning of the Post at all). I copied
and re-Posted it in a frenzy without realizing that I could have done
either Comment-ing or Like-ing
or Share-ing, or any combination of them. Just when I was on the verge
of kicking myself for losing self-control I was very relieved to find that
there were others too competing with me.
Competing
to lose control for sure; to think of kicking themselves afterwards, I'm not
sure of as they never Post about that. Researchers from TOI(Thinly-True
of India) have strongly claimed in repeated copies of the same article that
only 72% of such RePosters want to kick themselves after every re-Post.
To generate a debate on this they have put a question mark at the end of the
heading of their article like this:
"Are you one of those RePosters raging to kick yourself after a RePost ?"
JustCopied had also done the same. Same post - same sentences, same weblinks and
so on - minus the likes and comments decorating other copies of this post. I
was happy for JustCopied, to be almost in the same league as me. Only
difference with RePosters was that unlike them JustCopied lacked
any sense of guilt for losing self-control. They truthfully and sincerely
supported their impulses.
In the
meantime, while I was slowly releasing my head from my hands, the Notification
sign on the top left changed its colour. The colour red was a bloody
invitation to grab the unknown in it AFAP (As FaceBook As Possible). One
of the PageMakers had suggested me to Like its new page.
This was an
offer I could not refuse. I clicked at the speed of the fastest camera shutter
so far produced in the world (Disclaimer - atleast not less than that). There
were 1561 likes already there. I didn't read whatever was on the page. I just Like-d
it. The page count was now 1563. Somebody else too had started clicking its
mouse faster than the fastest camera shutter in the world, even more expert at
it than me.
Internet
experts have always been speculating about development of such a species on
internet. Since the time Facebook originated, to nobody's surprise, their
numbers have conformed to Toore's Law. It goes like this:
"The
speed of Clickers will always
increase at more than twice the rate of increase of Junk on internet. "
With the
march of time various variations of the Law have come for convenience in
application. Clickers has been replaced by various different appropriate
words.
It is said
that Toore framed this law while dreaming. It was an actual dream, not a
day-dream. When he was asked in an interview about what does Junk mean
in his law he just grinned. He died before he could be grilled on it in any
consequent interview.
However, intellectuals across Twitter, FaceBook,
Orkut, Reddit, Tumblr, Blogspot and so on have forever felt indebted to Toore
as many of them have been earning their livelihood by committed research on
finding truth about Junk. An added benefit is useful expenditure of time
which anyway would have been wasted on some other kind of not so enlightened
research.
These
intellectuals like to be called themselves Junkers. I
myself have been researching on Junkers for a considerably long period of time. I must
admit I'm mesmerized by them. I have nothing but heartiest respect and
admiration for Junkers. I would be lying if I don't confess that ....
hmm.... well.... I too aspire to be a Junker in the long run. A
dedicated Junker.
Anyway Toore's
Law has been the most quoted of any laws conceived so far while justifying
any new content on internet. Even this article is a step towards jutifying Toore's
Law. If you have even an iota of doubt on that I can always quote Toore's
Law to you. Twice, if you Like.
After Like-ing
one of those pages I was back to the main page. My right hand index finger
was etching to
dance over
touch pad, move the cursor to just below Update Status, give What's
happening, ... a click and bang Post. I was feeling miserable. Not
for wanting to do that but the reason for that - more than 82% of my friends
had already updated their status within the few seconds when I was
contemplating the Post.
Hmm. Anyway
my identity is revealed now. I won't pretend anymore. Since I started using
FaceBook I have aspired to become each one of them - shareMaster, PageMaker,
Clicker, Liker (Disclaimer - You may not believe it but Liker is
what most aspire to become AFAP to conform to Toore's Law; And more than
99.99 % of them become too. For that reason only I have decided to reserve my
best for them in the times to come) and so on. But all I have managed so far is
to become a RePoster. Trying to be a Junker through this piece of
Junk though.
What? I'm lying? I didn't reveal my identity?
What's happening, ... .
Yes, that's me - Nothing but
Three dots, unconnected.
Three unconnected dots.
What sense does my identity make?
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