See! I never tell such things to anybody but yes I will tell you......
I never speak a lie.
fat hypocrite: I don't eat much.
hypocrite politician: I never wanted power and status.
hypocrite businessman: I came into business to serve the society.
hypocrite goon: I don't believe in violence.
hypocrite society: we don't believe in hypocrisy.
Most quoted reference by hypocrites:
TOI (Thinly-True of India) has published a recent survey conducted by researchers at Hypo University that found out that 99.23% of those surveyed confirm that they are not hypocrites.
To
make its point strong TOI has published the same survey three days in a
row which broke their last record of three weeks in a row.
Variety of exclamation marks at the end of last sentence are not without reasons.
I have actually never been able to decipher the exclamation mark meant or expressed at the end of it when somebody throws that sentence right on my face when I arrive at someone's house.
This reaches pinnacle of wit when I look straight back into their eyes and I see indeed a question mark at the end.
Can't you see I do have arrived? I do ask back with a firm question mark but with my eyes.
Then to be courteous I ask in voice - How are you?
"Fine, How are you?" I get in return.
I get it then that I too have played the game of obvious in return.
It was another fine morning and I decided to give the lens a makeover. It was the same lens through which whatever one saw was interpreted from Western perspective.
If nothing this phenomenon had become monotonous and distasteful for any person with common sense - which is rare as I have been informed unfailingly by every other person.
This is a small effort to take off white man's burden - intellectual or whatsoever.
The lens shows that Kalidas is Shakespeare of India:
I would rather say that Shakespeare is Kalidas of West. And it wouldn't be without reasons:
1. Shakespeare was not even born when Kalidas was churning out literary masterpieces. Kalidas dates back to 4th - 5th centure CE while Shakespeare was writing in 16th - 17th century CE.
2. Kalidas is unprecedented in his distinct writing style of using similes and beautiful imagery. Shakespeare largely borrowed from Plutarch and other sources and customized them.
3. The intricacies of human relations, human behaviour, culture, society all are projected in vivid imagery by Kalidas. One play of Kalidas is enough to hold all kind of themes used by Shakespeare in various creations.
4. Plays written by Kalidas are as good for the joy of reading as for staging. Shakespeare's plays make a dull read though beautiful to watch on stage.
5. Heroes in Kalidas's creations script their own destinies. That way Kalidas was a champion of human spirit while Shakespeare's heroes either die or go mad at the end.
6. Creations of Kalidas are so dense that even a couplet is enough to be discussed for hours. Every iota of Shakespeare's creations is an epic. Such grandeur is not visible in Shakespeare's creations.
7. Kalidas was an environmentalist ahead of his time who brought out unity of life in all life forms. Clouds, plants, animals and so on are vividly described in symbiotic relation with mankind. Shakespeare lacked this aspect.
******************************************************* The Unsung Status Update
The Post of
ShareMaster sent my brain into an excited state (Disclaimer -
Though I might not have understood the meaning of the Post at all). I copied
and re-Posted it in a frenzy without realizing that I could have done
either Comment-ing or Like-ing
or Share-ing, or any combination of them. Just when I was on the verge
of kicking myself for losing self-control I was very relieved to find that
there were others too competing with me.
Competing
to lose control for sure; to think of kicking themselves afterwards, I'm not
sure of as they never Post about that. Researchers from TOI(Thinly-True
of India) have strongly claimed in repeated copies of the same article that
only 72% of such RePosterswant to kick themselves after every re-Post.
To generate a debate on this they have put a question mark at the end of the
heading of their article like this:
"Are you one of those RePosters raging to kick yourself after a RePost ?"
JustCopied had also done the same. Same post - same sentences, same weblinks and
so on - minus the likes and comments decorating other copies of this post. I
was happy for JustCopied, to be almost in the same league as me. Only
difference with RePosters was that unlike them JustCopied lacked
any sense of guilt for losing self-control. They truthfully and sincerely
supported their impulses.
In the
meantime, while I was slowly releasing my head from my hands, the Notification
sign on the top left changed its colour. The colour red was a bloody
invitation to grab the unknown in it AFAP (As FaceBook As Possible). One
of the PageMakers had suggested me to Like its new page.
This was an
offer I could not refuse. I clicked at the speed of the fastest camera shutter
so far produced in the world (Disclaimer - atleast not less than that). There
were 1561 likes already there. I didn't read whatever was on the page. I just Like-d
it. The page count was now 1563. Somebody else too had started clicking its
mouse faster than the fastest camera shutter in the world, even more expert at
it than me.
Internet
experts have always been speculating about development of such a species on
internet. Since the time Facebook originated, to nobody's surprise, their
numbers have conformed to Toore's Law. It goes like this:
"The
speed of Clickers will always
increase at more than twice the rate of increase of Junk on internet. "
With the
march of time various variations of the Law have come for convenience in
application. Clickers has been replaced by various different appropriate
words.
It is said
that Toore framed this law while dreaming. It was an actual dream, not a
day-dream. When he was asked in an interview about what does Junk mean
in his law he just grinned. He died before he could be grilled on it in any
consequent interview.
However, intellectuals across Twitter, FaceBook,
Orkut, Reddit, Tumblr, Blogspot and so on have forever felt indebted to Toore
as many of them have been earning their livelihood by committed research on
finding truth about Junk. An added benefit is useful expenditure of time
which anyway would have been wasted on some other kind of not so enlightened
research.
These
intellectuals like to be called themselves Junkers. I
myself have been researching on Junkers for a considerably long period of time. I must
admit I'm mesmerized by them. I have nothing but heartiest respect and
admiration for Junkers. I would be lying if I don't confess that ....
hmm.... well.... I too aspire to be a Junker in the long run. A
dedicated Junker.
Anyway Toore's
Law has been the most quoted of any laws conceived so far while justifying
any new content on internet. Even this article is a step towards jutifying Toore's
Law. If you have even an iota of doubt on that I can always quote Toore's
Law to you. Twice, if you Like.
After Like-ing
one of those pages I was back to the main page. My right hand index finger
was etching to
dance over
touch pad, move the cursor to just below Update Status, give What's
happening, ... a click and bang Post. I was feeling miserable. Not
for wanting to do that but the reason for that - more than 82% of my friends
had already updated their status within the few seconds when I was
contemplating the Post.
Hmm. Anyway
my identity is revealed now. I won't pretend anymore. Since I started using
FaceBook I have aspired to become each one of them - shareMaster, PageMaker,
Clicker, Liker (Disclaimer - You may not believe it but Liker is
what most aspire to become AFAP to conform to Toore's Law; And more than
99.99 % of them become too. For that reason only I have decided to reserve my
best for them in the times to come) and so on. But all I have managed so far is
to become a RePoster. Trying to be a Junker through this piece of
Junk though.
What? I'm lying? I didn't reveal my identity?
What's happening, ... .
Yes, that's me - Nothing but
Three dots, unconnected.
Three unconnected dots.
What sense does my identity make?
Well! I made myself most clear at the start itself - One fine day on
FaceBook wondering who am I.
ShareMaster : Shares
every other post in the world (read FaceBook).
RePoster: Doesn't believe in giving due credits. Though often filled with shame after
copy-Posting.
JustCopied: Believes he/she is
same as a RePoster. He/she is
Wrong. JustCopied has no shame.
Liker: Most Liked by everybody as he/she Likes everybody's post as blindly
as one can see with their eyes closed.
PageMaker:The architect. Some Like their page some don't but more or less they
are not left unvisited ever.
Clicker: The most observed,
ever-evolving species of Internet
Junker: Sheer product of Toore's
Law
Scroller: Big fans of SriMad
Bhagawad-Gita. They do unattached scrolling through Posts
Commentator:
I am not unaware of Mark Zuckerberg -
laying foundation stones for FaceBook overnight after somebody from Venus
ditched him. But mind itt - as Rajni would say - Commentators are the ones keeping FaceBook in
business.
